God will Save

PLEASE. it's really enough.. God save me from this nightmare....
I think i have already woken up. No one would justify themselves 100% of the time cos they can't be 100% wrong all the time. I have been broken enough... Thank God I have a God that forgives and forgets.. giving me a second chance.. stop being presumptous, overbearing, and an over sensitive ear... only picking up decibels of people's voices but not even listening!!!!

Stop acting like you have all the plans laid out when you don't even know any more what you want in life... My listening ear has been in vain. You never really realise how suffocating my shoes were. You're probably only going through a mere 10% of what I have gone through before...

I should really stop being obliging and nice anymore. The arrows turn and the blame is on me. I just want to stick to one job just like evryone else.. I am not a Yoyo. You pushed me away and then sometimes you act like i left on my own accord.
I was right. i think is schizophrenia... i saw the prince that night and i knew that was a rare sight cos in such a long time .. i only met up with him so rarely i can count with one hand.. That one time used to sustain me for a long while with the hope that he will be back again..

But i think God should have a greater plan for me.. I have learnt to say thank you and sorry more to more friends and people around me only because they allow me to do so. And they genuinely believe and trust in me.

I am really determined to enter SOT next yr so i wun be allowed to get hit by flaky verses used out of context when you opted an easy way out yourself.. seeking comfort in almost-strangers that tell you honey coated lies rather than God.

My heart really pains in a different way... I am really glad that i am not into depression because i learnt to love myself for who i am and i believe one day someone will embrace me with open arms and an open heart..

other updates:
1) A wannabe is fast becoming the new 招财猫 of HKC. They should pair up together instead. and yes, it's really uncomfortable and i din smile at her cos i do not actually knoe her in reality.. but she knoes all abt me that is not in the blog?
sounds like a stalker huh.. hahah no offense SH.

2) I have a really long day tomolo and living by faith$$. Thank God we are getting a tiny incentive when we did hit the targeted revenue for the month! jay please come back.. especially when xiangus, ash and mav going to leave for TW by the end of next week!!!!

3) really wanna catch step up 2.. but i think is dissapearing soon.. heard becoming jane is nice and by my next $ day Made of Honour would be out! yeay.. wanted to watch August Ryan but think is over =.= spiderwick chronicles too...maybe will watch be kind rewind on some site =b oh man.. just scrolled down the comming soon list of movies in apr and may and every single one seems nice... gulps..

4) please pray that the audition timing wun clash with twin's wedding .. ideally in between the break time we have or on sun.. sighz

5) continue to fast and pray until i managed to touch down at my best friend's homeland.. which means by then i am suppose to finish studying for my exams!!!

6) been reading friends' blogs and i realised everyone else seems to have a common theme.. bgr.. sighz.. for those friends who are even thinking of celibacy.. yah perhaps some 'me' time allows u to have a clearer picture of what you want in life.. beats jumping from one r'sh after the next like a vicious cycle..
and those who are single all their life going through ambiguous stages... that feeling is really lousy cos u have false expectations and u are not experienced to tell what's real and what's not... hehe and believe me.. even if u get the status which u want, u will realise is really far from those dramas u have been watching..
hahaha

i think the number of silent readers are on the rise..haha so erm.. hi!!
please tag okie...=)

oyasuminasai =)

ICP with Dattani

Mobile blogging again. . . Many friends are here töo:) jadebear, fion, teddybear n des and many others haha. . Just went i reached on time, the first hour was totally =.= . . I played mario party with Fion. . I will prob scream if my students did the same hahaha. . Anyway. . This is to keep me awake from the salmon don that's digesting in my tummy now. . I am bored enuff to sign up with a recruitment booth at jobfair here. . Who knows, see u at Shenton Way ! Loll but prob a half day contract job. . If i end my insomnia nights. . .so proud of my fellow N307 khakis. . They must have really fasted!! Continue to do so till i mobile blog from my best friend's Land!! Hahaha yippee. . .

Humourous God....

God works in mysterious ways and sometimes He is really humourous...

Tears turned into uncontrollable laughter when the last person on earth i expected would say :"Tears show that you are human ....it's okay to cry"

Guess He really turned the situation around and made us realise what really matters.. being blinded when you are stuck in a vicious rut, wondering when you can get out of it to realise what you have missed dun feel good at all... as well as thinking what is normal which turns out to be something lacking all this while which can create the same effect.. but you really need to be happy.. I am reminded of this verse that says what's the point of gaining the whole world when you lose your own soul?

Prince was back momentarily.... I guess Put has kind of went into hiding... I turned "human" when I saw the look in his eyes... there was no need of words. I have rare experiences with the real face that i knew eons ago but hope this time he is really back for good... I am kind of reminded of the Two Faces of my Girlfriend movie.. Which one is real? Certainly not the two extreme ends.. but the balanced one..

It was strangely therapeutic and the effect made me lose my insomnia.. i am actually feeling really sleepy and all ready for school tomolo.. Something just broke down and i feel renewed once again.. regardless of what the outcome's gonna be..
God have your way in us......

After Easter..

It's been a loonnggg weekeend..
was eating supper at liang seah st.. guesswat... STEAMBOAT at 1am looll..after that was a really long day @ work today and i was greeted by our newly painted walls in office! lime green... cooll... it's not really done though so i have yet taken any pics... sighz should have taken a before pic though..=b

Was supposed to study overnight today but my brain kind of dry today =b
Ended up watching a movie Orphanage with Xian gus, boy, ms, and jerry..
Thank God is not a really horror film except for the car crash scene and some shocking parts plus boy making funny noises beside me.. rrr it's kind of like "the others" and turned out to be sad.. ending like dark water...sighz..

Just finished typing something for belle plus supposed to update my resume.. which explains why i am taking hours to update this blog..
sometimes just by keeping quiet and observing seem to see many stuff but guess champs are really bunch of emo folks hehe.. really pray that we will get out of this phase and move on to wat u can see at www.jaylim.net .. hehe
Congrats on the newborn baby clare!!

oh man really 5am soon.. =b
boys and girls eat ur heart out at these pics...hehehe

WISE and the man that sang my favourite 一眼瞬间 duet with Ah mei... 萧敬腾！！！
hehe me and him
the next big thing...

and featuring the look alikes of bv min..




twin is getting married soon... oh no!!!! i just realised why i find 12th April so familiar... it's her weeddding day and i have the audition... gulps.. hope we get the 13th slot... =.=

HAPPY BIRTHDAY CL!!!!

was CL's birthday on 20th March.. so close to mavis's hehe ...
two martians posing again..
with xian gu
me! ^_^
and zy

and just received sms from Mavis!! Jay's daughter is born!!! yippeee can't wait to see her...
sighz on the other hand.. really praying for a friend's healing... dun want to lose another friend to this stupid illness..rrr. bind the devil!!!!!!!!!

stich has gone missing =( at appealing to public for the missing stich.. i am not sure where i lost him though.. think it was at expo hall one sighz.. it came in a pair and now he vanished.. if u see it lying ard please let me knoe.. haha

been a long week.. was trying to keep myself awake for CF UOL revision lect for tues and wed... and thank God for a friendly neighbour which i have forgotten his name but he was really nice.. though his handwriting was sorta illegible, but i am trained by cheng song.. hahhaa at least dun need magnifying glass! at least i was warned aboout Dr Frantz's slang... "bohhow...firmla... wanla..." think towards the end of our workshop his slang began to sound like his native language liao.. or like speaking in tongues...

39 more days!!!!!!!!!thanks Wenfu for the countdown.. i better WAKE UP..
this is good panic...
*gulps*
heeeelllllppppppppp.........hahahhaha

PT shared a really good message on wednesday.. well, these 7 pointers are really wat we need for this season..

1)understand what we are doing
2)we have NO personal agenda
3)Be free and animated!
4)Open up heavens
5)Do what we enjoy and enjoy what we do!
6)Have a cool head and warm heart.. dun nurse a wounded spirit
7)Develop an attitude of FAITH..

haha and opportunitites come heavily disguised ie. looking like problems or work!!!

and i also like the looking out of window and looking in the mirror part...

We also went for a really rare supper outing.. been a looongg time having dinner with these dear friends.. the last time was ally's wedding can't really count....

praying hard for three friends... 早生贵子！！！

Photo updates

Happy Birthday MAVIS!!!!!! + UPDATES

tried to act like there wasn't any surprise in office the whole day.. hahaha we all ended up at Dan Ryan's... a place which i never been for years... even till the oyster shooters are no longer available..=(

Went to catch 10,000 BC with boy and ms.. prior to that was WII @ emax with chiarie as well.. hehe u can catch the video i uploaded on youtube =b

I think the movie of the month is probable Sky of Love...

Well... not exactly the exact tearjerker due to the really funny lines .... but some parts of it kinda nailed my feelings exactly...
Random thoughts..
- must it always be that case... saying things u dun really mean... making both parties upset and causing further misunderstanding...
- i guess no matter how much u hide, time will only show where ur true feelings lie.. why bother trying to deceive urself and ending up hurting people near u...
- the sick person trying to drive the loved one away plot is really old and =.= but dunno why people will still use it..
- haha people that will watch it many times and cry over it prob have real life experiences..
- girls like bad guys? not that good guys are a bore.. but maybe when the boldness is used in a correct way bad guys win...

_____________________________________________________________________________________

压抑的心情不能平复
事实毕竟已摆在眼前
又回到原点
得到了不少
但失去了刻苦铭心
泪撒落无数夜晚
也无法挽回

—————————————————————————————————————————————————

‘Scars (Stronger for Life)’ by Corrinne May

I just want to run
Just want to hide away
Close my eyes to your gaze
Just want to leave
Don’t want to hear them say
“You’re no good at this”

When the world swirls with naysayers
Broken wings and torn pages
The road ahead
Drowning in my tears

Break me open
Tear me down
Into pieces
Broken crumbs
On the ground
You can mould and shape me
In your image
Breathe your life
You know I need it
Scars make us stronger for life

Losing myself
Gaining it back again
Forging strength from weakness
All that I am
All that I’m meant to be
Melting in your hand

Let the world swirl with naysayers
Pickled hearts and sour faces
What is real is what I cannot see

Cut away
All within me
That won’t bear fruit
Cut away
All within me

Scars make us stronger for life

*****

If not for GOD... is there really a purpose in life?
Any idea why humans have to go through all this pain and torment... coming together, and separating?
Why all we on this earth in the first place?
Do we really have a choice in life?
haha if you have these questions in ur head, come to SOT ..hahahaha

but on a serious note, HE has been what that has kept me going... ...
HE made me look at the positive side of every situation i went through..
HE never gave me up despite times of trials and testings..
HE loved me unconditionally...accepting all my weaknesses and used my strengths to bless other people
HE helped me become a better person.
HE is with me ALL the time...
HE is smart.
HE definitely must be good looking 'cos no human being can withstand His glory..
HE works in ways no human can to cheer me up and lend me a listening ear whenever i feel like complaining...
HE is my best companion...

THANK GOD....

counting down to exams....

@airport

Farewell feli. . .seeya soon. . Hope i can get to go japan before she's back for good!

@ Ally's wedding...

Happy Birthday Suyee!!!

highlight of the day i guess was the celebration of ms suyee's party @ Changi Village Cottage... she sure got lots of pressies and the ultimate card full of ts's handwritting!!! ahhaha one of other rare singing club's gathering before our exams plus the long awaited ah fu's arrival.... we literally waited till all the guests left.. more photos to be uploaded soon i guess..haha

finally caught Two Faces of my Girlfriend but in the end i wasted my gold class ticket..sighz...
hmmm the actress really looked very very familiar.. but i have forgotten from which movie or drama......oooohhhh!! i remembered.. a drama "which star are u from" hahaah
think all sassy gals can act pretty well..hehe think it's in all gals bah.. after much suppression...hahha

aniwaes... long day ahead... ally's big day coming sssoooon.... as usual i will be more excited than even the bride sometimes..haha still remembered when i was ah yee for the first time for my sis i had insomnia... and feli's back! going to plan the sabos with her...heeee